Shark Movies Are So Hot Right Now

Those crazy shark movies where sharks are combined with other animals (Sharktopus), or are genetically modified or whatever, or are super duper huge, are really popular these days.  Okay, maybe "really popular" is a stretch but these things get pumped out like nobody's business.  I swear, there were like 80 different shark movies put out this month alone.  Apparently the new thing is to combine sharks with natural disasters, like some sort of perverted Sim City.  Check this one out, this one blew my mind:

That is a real movie.  I didn't make that up.  Well, if combining sharks with natural disasters is the new thing, then I've got some ideas of my own:

Sharkalanche - A group of thrillseeking 20-somethings venture out of bounds on the nation's best ski mountain only to unearth an ancient, underground, shark-infested ocean!  The resulting nightmare is brrrrrrutal!

Sharkano - A group of thrillseeking 20-somethings on vacation hike up a beautiful trail, not realizing that it rests on a very ancient, and very lively volcano.  What happens next will leave you sweating!

Sharkteor Shower - A group of thrillseeking 20-something astronauts blast into space to study a mysterious cluster of meteors.  In space, no one can hear you get bitten in half!

Shark Drought - As a drought ravages the country, uhh, sharks appear and... SHARKS!


So basically I'm available whenever the movie studios want to hire me as a writer or director or whatever.  Call me.  We'll do lunch.

The REAL Real Housewives of Vancouver

Much hoopla is being made of the new Real Housewives show that will be gracing the televisions of women everywhere.  Chicks love this shit, I assume, because they like to fantasize about themselves being rich, snobby, bitchy women who marry ugly old men.  The women, nay, real housewives, who will be appearing on the Vancouver version were recently revealed:

Pictured:  The diversity of Vancouver

Yes, apparently the real Vancouver is nothing but white, blonde, skinny people.

Forget that one of these women is of Japanese descent (pfft, only half), the cast clearly doesn't represent the diversity of this multicultural city.  Not only that, the show doesn't represent the majority of citizens who live not amongst the dogshit-covered sidewalks of Yaletown, but in the hipster trendy neighbourhoods of East Van; the out-of-touch suburb of Coquitlam; or the gang riddled wasteland of Surrey.  Yes, what we need is a REAL Real Housewives of Vancouver!

(Please disregard the horrid composition of that photo, I whipped it together on my lunch break using web-based photo manipulation site pixlr.com.)

Sneak Peak: The Bachelor Canada!

There's going to be a new Bachelor and this time it's Canadian!!!  SQUEEEEEEE!!!  I've got a sneak peak at who the bachelor himself is going to be and it's a biggy!  There's going to be not one, but TWO bachelors this time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  OMG!!!!!  Check out the first image below!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!