SNES - Great game system or Greatest game system?

The Super Nintendo Entertainment System is 20 years old today.  I'm an old fucking man.  Jesus Christ.  20 years ago the SNES came out, when I was 10 going on 11 and now I'm... 20 going on 21.  Crazy.  Here now are my favourite SNES games EVAR.

9.  Mega Man X

BEW!  BEW!

Mega Man 2 for the NES is one of my favourite games of all time but there's no denying how beautiful the Blue Bomber looks in glorious 16-bit.  There's a reason why the newest Mega Man game has been made in a 'retro' 16-bit style.

8. TMNT:  Turtles in Time

Turtle Power!

Side scrolling fighting games are nothing new, even back in 1992 when this game came out for the SNES.  A year earlier it showed up in arcades (remember those?) and I played the shit out of it.  Right now I'd like to thank my mom and dad for giving me my allowance in quarters.  I was a huge Turtles fan as a kid and I remember being amazed at having an arcade game in my own fucking house on my own fucking TV.  I probably didn't use the world 'fuck' so much when I was a kid though.  FUCKING NINJA TURTLES!  This remains the greatest TMNT game of all time.  If you argue I'll shove a sai up your butthole.

7.  F-Zero

That speedy yellow and blue piece of shit.

The best racing game on the SNES and one of the best and most fun racing games of all time.  Never before on a home gaming system had anyone experienced something so fast and furious

and not since have I ever had as much fun playing a racing game.

6.  Final Fantasy III

Lord of the Rings would have been so much better with Mechs.

Final Fantasy on the NES was an RPG revelation to me but the added graphical firepower and the usual compelling (if not convoluted) story on the SNES was something else entirely.  Final Fantasy III took everything part II on the SNES had and made it even better.  Remember save points in games?  There were many times playing this game when I wasn't near a save point and had to stop playing, so I simply paused the game and turned off the TV.  Sometimes I wouldn't be able to come back to play for an entire day.  Marathon World of Warcraft sessions doesn't make you a hardcore gamer.  Pausing your game and going outside to ride a bike or play street hockey for 5 hours and then coming back to resume your game, that makes you a hardcore gamer.

5.  Street Fighter II:  Turbo

Hadouken and shit.  Word.

Street Fighter II (the original) coming to the SNES was a life changing moment.  The game was never available at the local video store, for obvious reasons, but I had finally got it on reserve.  When the call came that the game was in the store and I could pick it up I dropped everything and ran my little ass up the hill to Champlain Video and finally got to have my day with it.  So why is Turbo on this list instead of the OG?  New characters and playable bosses.  'Nuff said.

4.  NHL '94

"I'm the Kings!"  "Awwww, shit."

NHL '94 added the NHL license (NHLPA '93, the predecessor, only had a license to use player names, no team names were in the game), added one-timers, shots breaking the glass behind the net, team-specific organ songs and the shootout as a game mode.  The controls were so good you can still choose to use NHL '94 controls as an option in today's EA hockey games.  This game was the fucking tits.  I don't know how many hours I spent in Chris Narduzzi's basement, trash talking the fuck out of each other and literally standing and cheering every time one of us scored a goal on the other.

3.  The Legend of Zelda:  A Link to the Past

Oh shit!  Bunnies!

This is the greatest Zelda game ever.  Fuck all you Gamecube fanboys and your Ocarina of Time or whatever the crap.  The graphics were simple and beautiful.  The game play was simple yet exhilarating.  And the story, with the parallel dark world, was compelling as shit.  I was never a huge Zelda fan, and I'm still not, but this is one of the most iconic console games ever created.  And most importantly, one of the most fun.

2.  Super Mario World

I wish I was half as athletic as a fat, Italian plumber.

Super Mario Bros. on the NES is undoubtedly one of the greatest video games of all time.

"Of all time!"

But Super Mario World changed gaming forever.
Super Mario World came packaged with the SNES and upon first popping it in you were amazed at the bright, wonderful colours.  The original game was on an 8-bit system and was limited in its graphical capabilities, with only a few muted colours.  When Super Mario World came out with it's vast colour scheme and bright, beautiful graphics it caused everyone who first experienced it to almost have a heart attack (*citation need).  This was the future of gaming.  This was a child's imagination come to life, on a TV screen.  The best part about this game is you can still go back today, 20 years later, and lose hours playing and playing.  Try it drunk!  Everything's better when you're drunk!

1.  Chrono Trigger

The pinnacle of RPGs.

13 unique endings.  Depending on choices you made during your game and when you complete the final battle, you would receive 1 of 13 unique game endings.  This blew my 15-year old mind.  I think I only saw 3 or 4 of the 13 endings but that didn't matter.  Getting there mattered.  Chrono Trigger's main story device was time travel and you visited 7 different eras of the game world's history, acquiring allies and completing quests in all of them.  The battle sequences were fun and exciting and the leveling up, a staple in RPG gameplay, seemed important and not just a gimmicky device.  Best of all, after you beat the game you could play through again, as your full-powered leveled up characters, to try and achieve the other endings.  Chrono Trigger took up so much of my time it's probably one of the main reasons I didn't lose my virginity sooner than I did.  Who needed girls when you had a Super Nintendo anyway?

Yeah, video games are much better.

Canucks

I don't want to get ahead of myself or anything but I decided to make a fun little picture.  It's probably one of the worst Photoshop jobs I've done in a long time but I'm a little drunk and I don't care.

I also made another Snooty British Shark picture just for shits and giggles:

Taio Cruz

Hey, do you know that song by Taio Cruz that goes, "We're gon' light it up like a dinosaur!"?

Snoop Doggasaurus

Terrible song but I like the imagery.

The Real Reason Arnold and Maria Shriver Split Up

Trying to Start a New Meme

I'm trying to start a new internet meme in the vein of Philosoraptor and Courage Wolf.  It's called Snooty British Shark.  He's snooty.  Here's the first one I made.  Tell your friends, let's get this thing going.

 

Here's a version without text so you can make your own!

9 Favourite Albums of 2010

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the middle of March and I'm just posting my favourite albums of 2010.  I had a bit of a tough time coming up with the order of this list which is why it's taken me so long.  Also, I'm a lazy procrastinator.  I've rated these albums based on my enjoyment and how many times I've listened to them.  The numbers are essentially arbitrary as the top 3 or 4 could easily slot into the number one spot at any given moment but that's why I've given a fair bit amount of weight to how often I listened to each album.  The more listens, the higher ranking basically.

9.  Arcade Fire - The Suburbs

 

If there's one thing I want from a band I really love it's that they get better with each album.  Arcade Fire have done that, releasing their most complete album yet.  This isn't a record of singles, it's one meant to be taken as a whole.  Much like Pink Floyd's The Wall I see The Suburbs as one long song, separated into multiple tracks.  Listening to a single song it's hard to see how good this album is but when you hear it from start to finish its brilliance is apparent.

Favourite Song:  The entire album as one

8.  Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti - Before Today

 I'd been hearing about Ariel Pink for about a year before this album came out but I never bothered to check the music out.  That was stupid.  If you're a fan of bland, simple-formula music not only will you not like Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti, you simply won't get it either.  It's not like it's difficult or tough to get into or anything, it's just kind of out there.  It's lo-fi, high-creative.  Awesome stuff.

Favourite Song:  Fright Night

7.   Die Antwoord - $O$

Is it all an act?  Yes, most likely.  Characters, acting, whatever you want to call it, the act is brilliant.  They can rap too, so that helps.  Ninja and Yolandi put on an act that is completely fucked up, insane, wacky, silly, childish and most importantly, entertaining.  I saw them in concert in 2010 and it was the most surreal and strange concert experience I've ever had.  And I enjoyed the shit out of myself.  Die Antwoord first blew up on the internet when their video for Enter The Ninja went viral.  They used the internet to their advantage in crafting their image and popularity and put out a badass hip hop album.  You can have your L'il Waynes and Eminems, I'll take outside the box creativity any day of the week.

Best Song:  Evil Boy

6.  Black Keys - Brothers

 The follow up to 2009's Attack & Release is not as good.  Let's get that out of the way first.  Despite that it's still a killer album.  The Black Keys are refining their sound and are getting a solid mainstream following in the process.  That's pretty amazing for a rock n' blues two-piece in this day and age of glitter, glam and over production.  The Black Keys rock, plain and simple.

Best Song:  Tighten Up

5.  Ramona Falls - Intuit

 This one sneaked up on me late in the year.  I checked this disc out randomly, with no knowledge whatsoever of the band and it floored me.  It's deep, it's mellow, it's melodic and it's memorable.  It's headphone music.  Put this album on your headphones when out in public and the world around you melts away.  Ramona Falls are one of my top bands to keep my eye on in the near future.

Best Song:   Melectric

4.   Beach House - Teen Dream

Victoria Legrand's voice is angelic.  The musical textures throughout invoke pure happiness.  I love this album.  Love.

Best Song:  Silver Soul

3.  Vampire Weekend - Contra

 Both Vampire Weekend albums get regular plays in my eardrums.  This is a case of a band exploding onto the scene with a brilliant album and then following it up with something equally artistic and enjoyable.  There has bee no sophomore slump with these guys, crafting upbeat, happy, poppy and catchy rock tunes.  All with a smile and a smirk.  This is party music.  This is dance music.

Best Song:  Cousins

2.   The National - High Violet

 The National make sad music.  That's not to say their music isn't enjoyable, it is, it's just sombre as fuck.  Thing is they are so talented at crafting beautiful songs that you can't help but want to keep listening.  Bullshit "romantic" music like James Blunt has nothing on this stuff.  You listen and you feel things, and that's what the best music does; it makes you feel.  The National make you want to keep feeling.

Best Song:  Little Faith

1.  Yeasayer - Odd Blood

  This has been my favourite album of the year for the entire year.  It came out early in 2010 and remained my favourite all the way through.  It's fun and catchy and inventive and just goddamn enjoyable from start to finish.  This album begs for you to turn it up and sing along.  I love that.  That kind of music has always been tops for me.  Yeasayer make the kind of music that captures my imagination and makes me fantasize about being a rockstar.

Best Song:  Ambling Alp; Rome; Love Me Girl

Incredible News! OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!

Phil Collins says he is retiring from music. The sixty-year-old pop singer says it's a good time for him to stop, saying, "I don't think anyone's going to miss me."

Collins noted that his physical ailments from a lifetime of drumming—including hearing problems, a dislocated vertebra and nerve damage in his hands—have contributed to his decision and noted, "I look at the MTV Music Awards and I think: 'I can't be in the same business as this.' I don't really belong to that world and I don't think anyone's going to miss me. I'm much happier just to write myself out of the script entirely. I'll go on a mysterious biking holiday and never return. That would be a great way to end the story, wouldn't it?" 

Yes Phil, yes it would.  Please leave.

In The Air Tonight, yeah sure, it's a decent song but that's all he's got.  Don't give me any bullshit about Sussudio, that song sucks.  Genesis is better with Peter Gabriel at the helm.  Of course there will always be Phil's catalog of music being played in movies and on radio until the end of time but the prospect of there not being anymore new music from the ugly old bastard is such good news.